Results of Improv

Improv has been a moving force in my entire adult life. After much encouragement, I’m doing the damn thing. I’ve been going to jams at Third Coast Comedy club and volunteering in trade for classes. The more I go, the more funny morsels I find.

Reading that last bit may have you thinking that I find inspiration everywhere. It’s not true. The Muse of Inspo isn’t real. I blame Pinterest for most of its demise in everyone’s search for right party snacks and the perfect shade of gray to paint their kitchen.

Depression often tells me that I have nothing original to say. It lies and tells me I won’t ever be funny if I’m not self-depreciating first. Being funny takes practice and patience and… timing.

So, I’m going to share a thing I’ve been giggling at to myself over the last couple months. The point of this kind of writing is for my brain to live somewhere else for a while. It’s not self-deprecating. It does put a bee in the bonnet of some fifth graders and builds a higher pedestal for my cats.

You may not like it but don’t worry – I don’t need you to.

My Cat Is Smarter Than Your Fifth Grader

Hi, I’m Britt, the self-appointed advocate for the kid-less cat people in your life. We’re very bored with hearing about how smart you fifth grader is. I’ve been summoned today to tell you the truth… My cat is smarter than your fifth grader.

Yes, it’s an outline. Your fifth grader’s teacher told me that parents like these when there are curriculum changes and book reports on the horizon.

My cat makes its own schedule.

  • It doesn’t need to send me a Google reminder every time it naps.
  • I never have to worry about if it got enough sleep.
  • It’s already taking a nap after eating breakfast AND sleeping through the night.

My cat doesn’t talk back or complain.

  • We ignore each other unless we both need the blanket I’m using.
  • It doesn’t ask me awkward questions about the things it heard on the bus coming home from school.
  • There’s no noise about tummy aches or brain freezes.

My cat doesn’t seek validation, drugs or hugs.

  • It can’t use a phone to call a drug dealer or plan a party while I’m out of town.
  • The only time it requests interaction is when I have leftover milk in my cereal bowl. No, my cat isn’t lactose intolerant.
  • It looks to other felines to debate the need for another season of Jessica Jones.

My cat understands my privacy needs.

  • It doesn’t ask me why I’m buying another coloring book.
  • It doesn’t ask me where I take its poop every three days.
  • It doesn’t enter the bathroom while I’m in there.
  • I do occasionally get an escort to and from the potty because Queens recognize Queens.

My cat is a minimalist.

  • It regularly knocks things over that I have but don’t need on my shelves, or in my life.
  • It only needs two toys but your kid clutters the house.
  • It has a 4-collar capsule wardrobe.

My cat is generous.

  • It brings me dead animals.
  • I’m a terrible cat and enjoy animal sacrifices.
  • It makes sure we match by transferring its hair ONLY my freshly laundered clothes.
  • It only vomits when I’m not home.

As you can see, my cat is smarter than your fifth grader. The takeaway for your life right now is to rid yourself of that fifth grader and get a cat. If you have a dog AND child, well… I can’t even right now.

Brit’s Book Beat

I collect a few kinds of things.

One of my favorite places is the flea market. I like unique chairs. I’ve inherited Pyrex in Amish Butterprint and continued the collection. You’ll also find books. Many of them have found me when I needed them. The rest are likely from when I was left to my own devices at the bookstore. #sorrynotsorry

The main reason I wanted to put together a reading list was to help me remember I have things to read already.  The full list will be on my Good Reads soon. 🙂

I love books!

I love how they look. I love the different ways to organize and display them. There are never enough shelves for them. I think the main reasons I don’t have more bookshelves are:

  1. I have a lot of books.
  2. I am not good at putting things back where they belong.
  3. Empty shelf space = Buy. More. Books.

Now for the reading lists! I promise they’re short.

Next Up Reading List – A short list of books I’m reading next. I swear. Stop distracting me with sales, Various Book Stores of America.

– Sunshine State by Sarah Gerard
– Naming the World edited by Bret Anthony Johnston
– My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
– Buffering by Hannah Hart
– Hemingway Didn’t Say That by Garson O’Toole

Read These Books List- Books I really like and think you’ll like too… if you’re into that sort of thing.

– One More Thing by B.J. Novak
– The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
– Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter
– Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

My Fave Classics – Basically what I read in high school that shaped my understanding of the world.

Tess of D’Ubervilles 
The Great Gatsby
To Kill A Mockingbird
Fahrenheit 451

I’ve got a small favor to ask. Tell me about your reading (or writing) life.

If you enjoy it: Do you find yourself, with enough time, thinking about your world like one of the characters? Do you follow authors or genres?
If you don’t enjoy it: How/When do you lose interest? What other hobbies do you have?

What do you like? Are you doing it?

Oh, my feels.

How much time do you spend on things you enjoy doing? How much of that time is spent solo doing the things you enjoy?

I don’t know either.

I’ve had a difficult time figuring out what I enjoy doing lately because of the deceptive cocktail of depression, anxiety and a dash of Imposter Syndrome. I’ve made the decision to take care of my body as best I can by going to talk therapy, taking medication, seeing a chiropractor, and tasting my food rather than eating it.

Still, every day is a battle to decide what I like, love, and can live without as well as why these things matter. Sometimes the battle manifests as a panic attack. Other times, I have the urge to cancel plans and not leave the house.

But, there are these moments that come through like a sweeping wind and pushes me to the next step. When I see it, it can be an overwhelming feeling.

The next step might be showing up simply because I said I would. It might be writing and working through the trauma I want most to ignore.

Occasionally, I’ll overthink if I deserve to move past this sensation. It’s very hard in that moment to remember that depression lies to its victims.

What’s the point of this emotional bare all?

I want you to take time for yourself and decide what you want to spend time on. I know a lot of resources that might help you turn your self-care up to 11.

If you need to share in the struggle, it doesn’t make you weak. You are not alone. I’m always available too.